I’m not sure what this is. This website, that is. This is a post about me not knowing what this is, while also trying to figure out why I don’t know what this is. Convoluted, I know. If you've known me or followed me on varying platforms for a while: Hey, hope you're doing well. It's been a while. If you haven't? Well, this is going to be a very long and possibly confusing introduction. Hiya, I'm Brian. I'm a 24-year old Communications Major from Winnipeg, Manitoba, and I like to write...Or I did, at least. I haven’t written anything worth posting in a while. That isn’t me ripping on my own writing, although I know my past work is far below my current standard that I’ve developed over the last few years. But that’s not what this is. I last posted something in 2018 on a now-defunct website, meaning that the public record of that is now completely gone. Maybe that’s a good thing, a clean slate. A blank page in a new chapter, if I wanted to assign clichés. This is a place where I might begin sharing my thoughts on things. Probably not hockey, as that’s really all I’ve done in the past. As comfortable as hockey is for me to talk about, it’s time for me to unpack other interests. Regardless of what I ramble about, this little blog site allows me to express a bit more range than what I’ve given myself in the past. But I’m still not sure what this is. An outlet, maybe, if I’m motivated enough. That’s really been the issue over the past four-or-so years. I lost the urge to write things down, to express myself on a page for others to read. Hell, I even lost the urge to write things down for my own enjoyment. In 2020, even though I was stuck at home without a job during a global pandemic, I started a new adventure when I went back to school. With that becoming the focus, it became yet another excuse for me to avoid writing for enjoyment. I read textbooks and wrote papers for school, and that was the extent of it. I had no further motivation to write about anything else. None. That’s not uncommon, though. Creative work can often stall, frustrate, and discourage people who like to create. It’s a rut I’ve been in before, but it had always been a few months and then I was back at it. But this time it was different. I took no joy out of sitting at a computer or in front of a notepad, writing about things I enjoyed. Perhaps, subconsciously, this was my brain telling me it was time to figure a few things out before I can find that outlet again. I think that may have been it, because the next few years were filled with me learning a lot about myself, how I operate, and why I enjoyed the creative outlet. So here I am. I have no idea who will read my ramblings, but frankly, that isn’t something I care about. What I care about, is that I actually want to write things down again. I want to. I haven’t said that in years. As I said, I don’t know what I’ll jot down. Maybe I’ll delve into my love of food, how my heart belongs in lake country, or maybe I’ll even get back into sports. Who knows? Regardless, for myself, this is massive. I haven’t felt creative in a while, but it’s refreshing, and it feels like more of a purpose now. I know this is my view on it, but anyone who creates knows well enough that sometimes things just get a bit harder to express. If you’re there now, there’s no harm in waiting until you feel the time is right. That’s what I did. And I think it is. The right time, that is. I need this sort of thing to get away from the total structure of a university paper or a report on a textbook that I struggled to read. Writing on this site is more of “me”, and I think that’s important, to me at least. And let’s be real, adding some external writing to a portfolio doesn’t hurt either. I have no idea how often I actually write something, but it’s there, and that’s something I need. I still have that whole school thing I have to keep up with, but I’m sure I can make this work. This is also a way to keep me accountable. Now that I’m putting this out there, maybe I’ll feel that extra push to keep it going. So, stay tuned for whatever this is. I don’t even know what this is, so we’re all along for the ride. I’m back, baby.
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